Joke Thread

After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a bathtub, the hospital director reviewed the rescuer's file and called him into his office.

"Mr. Haroldson, your records and your heroic behavior indicate that you're ready to go home. I'm only sorry that the man you saved later killed himself with a rope around the neck."

"Oh, he didn't kill himself," Mr. Haroldson replied. "I hung him up to dry."

Once there was a millionaire who had a collection of live alligators. He kept them in a pool at the back of his mansion.

The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single. One day, he decides to throw a huge party.

During the party he announces, "My dear guests, I have a proposition to every man here. I will give one million dollars or my daughter to the man who can swim across this pool full of alligators and emerge unharmed!"

As soon as he finishes his last word, there is the sound of a large splash.

The guests all turn to see a man in the pool swimming as fast as he can. They cheer him on as he keeps stroking.

Finally, the swimming man makes it to the other side unharmed. The millionaire is so impressed, he says, "My boy, that was incredible! Fantastic! I didn't think it could be done! Well, I must keep my end of the bargain. Which do you want, my daughter or the one million dollars?"

The man says, "Listen, I don't want your money. I don't want your daughter, either. I want the person who pushed me in that water!"