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It's going downhill...
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20111126
It's going downhill...
I guess I've just been down a lot more lately. I mean I haven't been on the computer as much, I usually stay in my room crying. My girlfriend came up for Thanksgiving. We had a really good time together, but I guess I went too fast for her. She didn't want to go beyond making out and apparently I'm really grabby when I'm asleep O.o The next day she told me that she thinks she's straight though, so I guess she's probably not into me. I really wish I was a guy more than ever, then everything would be so much easier for me. She's going to leave tomorrow morning back to where she lives which is pretty far away. I won't be able to see her until next June. Yesterday was the last day we could be together, she's going to be busy all today and tomorrow. She knows I'm upset and keeps apologizing to me, but she can't help her straightness. I don't think she understands how upset I am though. Lately I've been getting more and more suicidal. It doesn't help that I'm still bullied at my school. My dad has been getting worse as well. He comes home acting drunk and his anger doesn't tolerate anything, including me trying to stick up for myself and my little sister. Lately the only thing I've beem thinking of is my friend, I can't get her off my mind. The way I feel around her is so weird in a good way. She's the first person I could ever actually touch. I used to be afraid of holding or shaking hands, but I can hold her hand just fine. But when she goes away I cry myself to sleep again. It just makes me really depressed to know that she can't feel the same way right now, and that she'll keep living far away from me for at least 5 more years until she's legal aged to move out. (She's younger than me, but looks and acts way older) I feel a little better having typed this all out, but it still hurts a lot. I think my mom is suspecting something, I've been crying more than normal a lot. I don't know how long I can hide these feelings from everyone else.
Coolmeia- NH Member
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It's going downhill... :: Comments
Re: It's going downhill...
Hey, don't give it up. She's just experimenting, even though she may have just been experimenting with you doesn't mean that it's really that over. Just wait until June to know for sure.
But for now, while you're away from her, try and be a bit more independent. Get a hobby, something to get her off of your mind.
But for now, while you're away from her, try and be a bit more independent. Get a hobby, something to get her off of your mind.
Okay what the hell
You're like 12 and you're trying to fudge some other girl
You're like 12 and you're trying to fudge some other girl
Product of Western Society: 12 year olds are depressed cause they can't get laid.
I would probably be the same with my ex, but really music is all the love I've found in this world.
I found love in this thing called "friends," which I'm not sure too many of you have
Just kidding.
Just kidding.
Sayf, I'm starting to believe you. Never seen such a sad state of denial as I have in Western society.
^The unfortunate truth is that the way Western society is currently going, more of this will happen.
LOL you are starting to believe me NOW?!!?
are you people like ... retarded?!? you think im a fool for trying to tell you this stuff for so long???
why don't you wait some more before you believe me ... after these wh0res try and push this into Egypt and take your country from you ...
are you people like ... retarded?!? you think im a fool for trying to tell you this stuff for so long???
why don't you wait some more before you believe me ... after these wh0res try and push this into Egypt and take your country from you ...
Wow stuck with such a dad...can't you find solace with your mother?
If you think you're bi, try going for a guy in a future relationship; for now try get some peace of mind...think about your priorities and try search your spiritual side.
If you think you're bi, try going for a guy in a future relationship; for now try get some peace of mind...think about your priorities and try search your spiritual side.
Dark Flame99966 wrote:Sayf, I'm starting to believe you. Never seen such a sad state of denial as I have in Western society.
Are you kidding? I've been saying this BEFORE Sayf. Sayf eventually sided with the westerners in the Sals debate. I stayed true to the side of truth all the way.
No recognition.
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