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New Horizons » General Discussions » Anything in General » The Poem

The Poem

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1The Poem Empty The Poem Sat Jul 10, 2010 2:48 pm

Ahmed

Ahmed
NH Admin
NH Admin

This poem is dedicated to all the happy people
All the happy people
Who have real nice lives
And have no idea what's it like to be broken.

I feel like I am walking in circles
I am in a nervous wreck
Minimum wage
Make sweat for a worthless check
I am full of venom and rage

My son wants to tell me jokes
But I'm too stressed to laugh

2The Poem Empty Re: The Poem Sat Jul 10, 2010 2:54 pm

preid1220

preid1220
NH Moderator
NH Moderator

and the author of this morbid work?

3The Poem Empty Re: The Poem Sat Jul 10, 2010 2:57 pm

Justice

Justice
NH Member
NH Member

Did you write this?

4The Poem Empty Re: The Poem Sat Jul 10, 2010 3:00 pm

Ahmed

Ahmed
NH Admin
NH Admin

Pretty much

5The Poem Empty Re: The Poem Sat Jul 10, 2010 3:39 pm

Hassan

Hassan
NH Retired Moderator
NH Retired Moderator

ummm.Its a work in progress..right?

6The Poem Empty Re: The Poem Sat Jul 10, 2010 3:48 pm

Ahmed

Ahmed
NH Admin
NH Admin

Yes it is

7The Poem Empty Re: The Poem Sat Jul 10, 2010 3:50 pm

Hassan

Hassan
NH Retired Moderator
NH Retired Moderator

ok..work on the message (theme) first

8The Poem Empty Re: The Poem Sat Jul 10, 2010 4:25 pm

The Banker

The Banker
NH Member
NH Member

Rock Bottom by Eminem.... u just took out the swearing Rolling Eyes

This song is dedicated to all the happy people
All the happy people who have real nice lives
And who have no idea whats it like to be broke as ****

I feel like I'm walking a tight rope, without a circus net
I'm popping percocets, I'm a nervous wreck
I deserve respect; but I work a sweat for this worthless check
Bout to burst this tech, at somebody to reverse this debt
Minimum wage got my adrenaline caged
Full of venom and rage... etc

but the son part is original Razz

9The Poem Empty Re: The Poem Sat Jul 10, 2010 6:32 pm

preid1220

preid1220
NH Moderator
NH Moderator

Ahmed your poem lacks power and reality.

10The Poem Empty Re: The Poem Sat Jul 10, 2010 8:54 pm

Ahmed

Ahmed
NH Admin
NH Admin

No Cho. I changed 70% percent of it. Therefore it is no longer that song. Check on MLA guidleines because you accuse me of such criminal acts.

Preid it is solid. But I dare say that the fool always lacks understaning of greatness.

11The Poem Empty Re: The Poem Sun Jul 11, 2010 9:53 am

The Banker

The Banker
NH Member
NH Member

i ain't accusing u of nought... just pointing stuff out Razz

12The Poem Empty Re: The Poem Sun Jul 11, 2010 10:03 am

Ahmed

Ahmed
NH Admin
NH Admin

Sorry that was Admin speaking Razz

13The Poem Empty Re: The Poem Sun Jul 11, 2010 10:12 am

preid1220

preid1220
NH Moderator
NH Moderator

Hermione wrote:No Cho. I changed 70% percent of it. Therefore it is no longer that song. Check on MLA guidleines because you accuse me of such criminal acts.

Preid it is solid. But I dare say that the fool always lacks understaning of greatness.

I may be young, but i am not an idiot. I posted what i truly felt since your the one always asking for criticism.

14The Poem Empty Re: The Poem Sun Jul 11, 2010 10:14 am

Ahmed

Ahmed
NH Admin
NH Admin

I didn't ask for anything and I didn't call you an idiot O.o

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