Prologue-

Vampires have lived amongst us for many centuries. They were with us at the dawn of our species and are with us still. But during the middle ages their numbers were almost cut in half.
King Edmund laid down a law, saying all Vampires were to be killed on sight. The Vampires were a very strong race, superior in all aspects compared to humans, but they stood no chance against mobs of humans. Edmund had a bounty on their heads, a bag of gold coins for each Vampire head.
So mobs of people hunted from dawn til dusk, trying to kill Vampires, the Vampires were getting low in numbers, so they fled to Europe and tried their hardest to blend with the humans.
But all Vampires have certain aspects that made them stand out, white skin, fangs and were usually very rich. Most humans missed these ‘flaws,’ but there were a few determined people that could spot them. This worked to the Vampires advantage, now they didn’t have many humans trying to kill them.
The Vampires formed a secret society in Pennsylvania, inside Count Dracula’s old mansion.



Chapter 1- The invasion-


In the slimy basement of the Counts old mansion, Hanzi Ignasio was hosting a meeting, with the leaders of the six Vampire clans.

Hanzi Ignasio was the Counts only son. When he was brutally murdered by a whole army of assassins, Hanzi inherited the huge mansion.

“Our numbers are falling low, we need to strike now. This will be our only chance,” said Aelfric Wolf, the leader of one of the clans.
The leaders murmured agreement.

“Okay, we will leave at sunset and attack the human city of Rome, and we will continue to attack their cities until we have wiped out their race,” replied Hanzi.


By sunset all the Vampires had returned to their clans headquarters, getting ready for an invasion of Rome. The armies suited up and met on the outskirts of the ancient city of Rome. Hanzi rode in front of the line of 200 Vampires on his horse.
“Today, we take back what is ours; no longer will we let this despicable race of peasants walk all over us.”

The whole army erupted into roars and cheers.
“Join with me as we fulfil our destiny. Charge,” he screamed and the army of Vampires ran into Rome, fangs bared. Their lust for blood could be smelled from a mile away.

In fact there was a weird scent on the air. This caused the sleeping town watcher to wake from his deep sleep and look out at the town. From his perch in the city’s main tower he could see an army running towards the city. From what he learned in class, oh so long ago, he remembered that smell meant….. Vampires.

He sprang up from his wooden chair and ran towards the bell. He rang it, to alert the townspeople. People came rushing from their houses, still in their bed gowns and a weapon in their hands.

The Vampires heard the bell and knew what it meant, but they didn’t stop. It was much too late for that. A Vampires determination is like a brick wall, you can’t stop it.

They ran and ran. Once they got into the city some people who had gathered on the wall started firing arrows into the air. They weren’t very accurate shot but still a few of the Vampires were struck and killed. But the army didn’t stop running. Now their fangs had extended as far as they could and their eyes were fully black.
Some of the Vampires started fires in houses, others just bit people, filling their lust.
But one Vampire, Hanzi, rode straight through the city, to the Kings Manor.
He hated this man so much, when he talked about him you could literally feel the hatred radiating from him.
When he got to the gates (which were open, how convenient) he dismounted his horse and drew his sword. Just as he got to the door, a light flicked on. The king’s wife had died and his son lived a few door down, so there was no doubt it was him.

The door knob turned and Hanzi kicked the door as hard as his body would allow him. It broke off its hinges and crashed to the floor. Beneath it, groaning, was a very plump man.

“Hello, your majesty,” Hanzi chuckled as he walked around the door. He lifted it up and picked the man up by his collar and slammed him against the wall.
“Wait,” the man yelled, “Please don’t kill me, I’ll give you anything.”
“Men like you don’t deserve to live.” And with that he bit him on the neck.

He threw the limp body down. It lay there with blood squirting out of its neck. Hanzi walked out of the house, everything was on fire and a group of his fellow Vampires were locked up in a giant cage.

“Run my king, save yourself,” said one of them. He went to jump on his horse but was stopped by a man. This man was very muscular.
“Unhand me or I will not hesitate to turn you inside out,” Hanzi hissed, but the man didn’t let go of his shoulder. He just stare at him, like he was lifeless. Hanzi went to touch him but was hit hard on the back of the head, and knocked out.

Chapter 2 the games-


“Let the games begin,” a voice echoed around the Rome colosseum. Hanzi awoke; his peers all around, looking weary and tired. They were locked in a giant wooden cage. In a dark room, a loud voice booming every few seconds.

He sat up and seen a man, very richly dressed walking toward the cage. He unlocked it and instructed some guards to come and help him. They grabbed half of the Vampires and took them down a long black tunnel, into the middle of the colosseum.

“Ooh, that one never stood a chance, nice kill by our champion,” boomed the voice again.
Then Hanzi finally caught on. He was in a gladiator match! He was going to be thrown into an arena and forced to fight, and in these conditions. He was half dead and it was scorching hot. Lucky for him it was a shaded arena.

The rich man came back toward the cage with the guards. They unlocked the doors and a Vampire sitting by himself jumped and tried to push past the guards. But the held him back and threw him to the ground. One guard walked over and looked at all the other Vampires, “Let this be a lesson for all of you,” he put his huge foot on the struggling Vampires chest and thrust his massive blade into its chest. The Vampire let out a great roar, blood spilling from his mouth. He fell back, dead.

All the others looked at each other, a look of worry on their face. “All of you, up and follow me,” he said pointing his blade at the group of Vampires.
They all got up and followed the man down the tunnel. Hanzi, sweat dripping from his nose, stayed at the rear, no idea what was in store for him behind those doors. They stopped at the wooden doors.
“Now, the next lot of challengers,” announced that same voice again.
The doors swung open and the guards pushed the Vampires into the arena. There were only 7 of them.
The arena was full of people, screaming and cheering, wanting to see blood spilt. On the ground there were four warriors, all suited in steel armour with swords and shields. One of them was at least two feet taller than the rest.
I’ll have to watch out for him, thought Hanzi as he entered the arena.

The 7 Vampires stood in a tight shy group in the corner of the stadium, waiting for something to happen. The 4 gladiators closed in on them like wolves stalking their prey. One Vampire jumped out with his fangs bared. All of the gladiators except the big one stepped back. Instead he held up his sword and walked forward to meet the Vampire. The Vampire jumped at him but he knocked him down with his shield, breaking his ribs. The Vampire lay on the ground, helplessly squirming with pain. The gladiator lifted his foot and stomped right on his face, crushing his skull.

The other Vampires were aggravated by this. They roared and ran toward the gladiators. One was stupid enough to let his guard down and be stabbed straight away. Another tried to run away but was hit in the back with a huge sword.

Now it was even, four to four. The Vampires chose an opponent and stared at them. Hanzi was stuck with the big one. He didn’t want to waste any time. The last time he done that, centuries ago, it almost cost him his life.

He ran forward, the big man tried to hit him with his shield, but Hanzi duck and dealt him a quick and deadly blow to the ribs. Something cracked and the man fell to one knee. Hanzi ran and jumped with his fangs beared. The big man stood up, threw down his shield and punched him in the face, sending him flying back.

Hanzi lay there motionless. The big man came toward him and stood over him. Hanzi smiled and kicked right in the crotch. The man fell over, holding his privates. Hanzi took the sword he dropped and cut off his leg. With blood pouring everywhere the crowd cheered.
“Looks like our champion has met his match,” Said that voice again.
Hanzi knelt down beside him and pulled the armour back from his neck. He bit, feeling the hot red liquid run down his throat gave him his strength back.

After he had drained the human’s body, he stood. Looking around him he noticed that everyone was dead and the crowd was roaring.




Chapter
3- The gladiator





(A few years later)





“Grapes please,” Hanzi ordered his servant.
He was lying on a very expensive sofa surrounded by dozens of beautiful women,
doing whatever he told them.





Ever since he had beaten the Roman champion
years ago, he had been treated with utmost respect. It was either that or fear.
The gladiator organisers thought it would be a good idea to bring him in as the
champion and make some money off him. All people cared about these days was a
decent fight.





Sit down and relax all day, fight a few
weaklings every now and then. Suited Hanzi well, he was loving it.


“Hanzi, time to fight,” said a voice from
the hall. Hanzi quickly got up and put on his battle armour. He couldn’t miss a
fight. The organisers wouldn’t forgive him. He picked up his sword and ran off
into the hall, following the messenger.





The messenger stopped at a long black
tunnel. “Good luck sir,” he said, looking at his feet. Hanzi grunted and pushed
past him. He ran down the tunnel, not even a hint of fear inside him. He had
done this so many times, why would it be any different?


As he approached the wooden doors a voice
boomed, “Today will be a one on one match, should be a breeze for our
champion,” the crowd roared. Hanzi smirked and kicked open the two doors. “Let
the game begin,” that same voice boomed again.





Standing cowardly on the far side of the
arena was a very short person. Hanzi squinted to get a decent look at the
person. He went to turn away but something held his gaze. He tried to work out
what it was. Searching the person’s body with his eyes, he finally found it.
This was no man, it was a Vampire. He could see the fangs.





Suddenly he had a flash back. He was in
this very same arena, fighting the previous champion. Then it flashed again and
he was biting the king. He shook his head and it went away.





He drew his sword and ran toward the
Vampire. As he approached the Vampire hissed. Hanzi didn’t stop, he kept going.
He drew back his sword and swung at the Vampires head. But he dodged and jumped
in the air. He dealt a quick blow to Hanzi’s head and his helmet flew off,
revealing his face.


“Hanzi…?” began the Vampire. He stared at
Hanzi, as if happy to see him alive. Hanzi took this to his advantage and
darted forward. He kicked the Vampire in the back of the knee and he fell to
the ground.





He drew back his sword and was about to
finish the Vampire when he had another flash back. He was sitting in his
mansion, drinking blood with another Vampire… Some one familiar, Aelfric Wolf!


He threw down his sword and smiled down at
his old friend. “I’m sorry friend,” he started; Aelfric jumped and punched him
right between the eyes.


“That’s for almost killing me,” he helped
Hanzi to his feet.








The crowd booed and started throwing rotten
vegetables in the arena. The two Vampires walked toward the exit. “Lets spice
things up a bit shall we,” boomed a voice. The Vampires stopped and looked
around, not sure what to expect. A roar came from behind, they swung around.
Three lions were being let out from a cage at the wall of the arena.





They looked at each other, nodded and drew
a weapon. One lion ran straight for them, something they weren’t ready for.
Hanzi leapt out of the way, but Aelfric wasn’t as quick. The lion pounced on
him, knocking him down. Seeing his friend knocked down, Hanzi quickly got up
and ran toward the lion. Yelling, he lined up his sword. He jumped for the lion
and it turned toward him. His sword drove right into its open mouth and through
the back of its skull.





Hanzi pulled his sword free from the dead
beast and helped up his companion. The other two lions stalked towards them.
Hanzi walked over to the right one. He took a few swings at it but it didn’t
seem the slightest bit annoyed. He lowered his sword and walked over to it. The
lion looked him in the eye, and held his gaze for a second. It jumped up and
knocked him over. His sword was knocked several feet away from him. He looked
around for it, but couldn’t find it. He saw the lion approaching him, teeth
bared. He looked around again, this time he saw something glinting in the sun.
He scrambled over to it and turned around. The lion jumped and Hanzi shut his
eyes.





What seemed like centuries later he opened
them. His head was throbbing and there was something heavy on his chest. His
sword was poking out of the dead lion’s chest. Hanzi kicked the giant cat off
him and stood up. He looked over to his friend and saw that he was okay,
panting with a dead lion in front of him, but okay.








-Incomplete-

Hmm are you trying to upstage my story?

What do you mean?

It's a good story but you need to work on elaboration and describe the scene, don't just let the reader's mind decide how it will look

read and its all right, I cant tell when its set though. I think there are some flaws too, but I'm tired i cant say now

It;s good but you need more details

Chapter 4



Hanzi walked over to Aelfric, “Are you all
right old friend?”


“Yes I’m okay, but I’d be better if we got out of here,
come we have much to discuss.”


Aelfric walked to the exit of the stadium, Hanzi followed.


“You there, stop,” shouted a guard from behind.


Aelfric turned around and jumped toward the man. He grabbed him and bit
his neck. The guard fell down, dead. Hanzi’s jaw dropped, he had forgotten what
it was like to feed. Aelfric walked back over to him and grabbed his arm to
turn him around. “Come my friend,” and Hanzi followed.





*





They left the Rome
coliseum and sat down at a rocky field. “So what have you to tell me?” asked
Hanzi.


“This,” said Aelfric, jumping up and pulling a knife from nowhere. Hanzi
was pinned to the ground, shocked, with a knife at his neck.


“What is the meaning of this?”


Aelfric chuckled, “My lord, don’t you understand? With you out of the
way I will control the Vampire world.”


Hanzi was shocked, this man was supposed to be his friend. Before Hanzi
could say anything Aelfric quickly waved his hand and slit his throat. Wiping
his blade clean, he walked away, whistling. This day was turning out better for
him.





Hanzi’s soul drifted up to Mount
Vampiras, where the
judging would take place.


“Son of Dracula,” said the God Drac, “You were killed much before your
time, what have you to say for yourself?”


“Well, it was sudden, so I couldn’t defend, and ever since I killed the Rome champion 3 years
ago, I have been treated like a god, a human god. I haven’t fed or trained in a
long time. Just give me one more chance to kill that bastard!”


All the Gods looked at him in amazement. “You dare use that language on
this sacred place,” roared Drac, rising from his chair.


“I am sorry my lord,” he said, kneeling. “I was angry.”


“Your determination amazes me, I can smell it. Okay you will be sent to
earth, but do one bad thing, and you will be cursed forever.”


“Yes my lord, thank you.”


Drac snapped his fingers and Hanzi disappeared.





Hanzi woke, lying on top of a rock. It was dark. How long had he been
here?


He looked at his clothing; they were tattered and ripped from the lions.
It was time for some new ones. He raced into town and stopped at the clothing
shop. It was in the middle of the night and no one was around. It would seem
harmless to take some clothes….





He smashed the window, grabbed a cloak and ran. Once he was a good
distance away from the shop he swapped cloaks.


CRACK. He fell over. In his mind, Drac appeared. “Hanzi Ignasio,” he
bellowed, “You have broken your vow, and for this you will be punished.” And
with that he disappeared.


Hanzi got up, remembering the dream. He didn’t feel any different. He
looked at his hands, they were muscular, he felt his arms and legs, Muscular as
well. He touched his fangs, still a Vampire.


“Hardly a punishment,” then he fell to the ground. A migraine had struck
him. He was writhing on the ground, grasping his head. The pain was unbearable.
Then it stopped. “Oh,” he said, “I’ll have to get used to that, well at least I
get something in return.” He jumped in the air and did a back flip, finishing
it off with a round house kick all in the air. “I’m a kick-ass fighter,” he
laughed, “I could get used to this.”

Don't think i'll write any more of this story. I don't really like it and I have another story idea. I will post once the whole thing is finished. So it could be a few weeks.