Lmao

Shhh!!

"Very few of us looked great in junior high and high school. Celebrities like Ke$ha are no exception. This photo of her in her younger years has been floating around the internet for awhile now, and a bunch of people over at Reddit rewrote the lyrics to Tik Tok in its honor. Enjoy!"

LMAO @ the Asian one...

ViKtory wrote:AHAHAHAHA FANG YOU MADE MY EFFING DAYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ROFLROFLROFL OMGF the pun!! *faints*

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I'm so lost without you... Haha kidding. I have a GPS

What.

That's what I said.

seriously, what pun?

I was guessing it had to do with the titanic.

speaking of Titanic and puns...

Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York.

This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost. The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss.

Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day. The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as...




*Puts on sunglasses*





Sinko de Mayo.


YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

lol
omg i think this is my favourite thread ever ^^

I was talking about the pun in that 722 /b/ folder fang has, there are loads of pun pics in it xD

This isn't really a joke but:

This doesn't make sense. Why would HE take his mom's pills? It won't affect him.

...that's the point Ahmed.

That's REALLY messed up.

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Discoveries and Inventions by Men And Women-

Men discovered COLOURS and invented PAINT,
Women discovered PAINT and invented MAKEUP.

Men discovered the WORD and invented CONVERSATION,
Women discovered CONVERSATION and invented GOSSIP.

Men discovered GAMBLING and invented CARDS,
Women discovered CARDS and invented WITCHERY.

Men discovered AGRICULTURE and invented FOOD,
Women discovered FOOD and invented DIET.

Men discovered FRIENDSHIP and invented LOVE,
Women discovered LOVE and invented MARRIAGE.

Men discovered TRADING and invented MONEY,
Women discovered MONEY and invented SHOPPING.

Thereafter Men have discovered and invented a lot of things...
While Women STUCK to shopping.

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Why one should never visit a Five Star hotel...

Question: What would you like to have... Fruit juice, Soda, Tea, Chocolate, Milo, or Coffee?
Answer: Tea please.

Question: Ceylon tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey bush tea, Ice tea or green tea?
Answer: Ceylon tea.

Question: How would you like it? Black or white?
Answer: White

Question: Milk, Whitener, or Condensed milk?
Answer: With milk.

Question: Goat milk, Camel milk or cow milk
Answer: With cow milk please.

Question: Milk from Freeze land cow or Afrikaner cow?
Answer: Um, I'll take it black.

Question: Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?
Answer: With sugar.

Question: Beet sugar or cane sugar?
Answer: Cane sugar.

Question: White, brown or yellow sugar?
Answer: Forget about tea just give me a glass of water instead.

Question: Mineral water or still water?
Answer: Mineral water.

Question: Flavored or non-flavored?
Answer: I'll rather die of thirst.

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Things you wouldn't have known without movies-


It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.

A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.

It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.

Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.

Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.

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Three men a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot, were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree. Before anyone knows it, the three men found themselves standing before the pearly gates of Heaven, where St. Peter and the Devil were standing nearby.

"Gentlemen," the Devil started, "Due to the fact that Heaven is now overcrowded, therefore St. Peter has agreed to limit the number of people entering Heaven. If anyone of you can ask me a question which I don't know or cannot answer, then you're worthy enough to go to Heaven; if not, then you'll come with me to Hell."

The philosopher then stepped up, "OK, give me the most comprehensive report on Socrates' teachings"

With a snap of his finger, a stack of paper appeared next to the Devil. The philosopher read it and concluded it was correct.

"Then, go to Hell!" With another snap of his finger, the philosopher disappeared.

The mathematician then asked, "Give me the most complicated formula you can ever think of!"

With a snap of his finger, another stack of paper appeared next to the Devil. The mathematician read it and reluctantly agreed it was correct.

"Then, go to Hell!" With another snap of his finger, the mathematician disappeared, too.

The idiot then stepped forward and said, "Bring me a chair!"

The Devil brought forward a chair.

"Drill 7 holes on the seat."

The Devil did just that. The idiot then sat on the chair and let out a very loud fart.

Standing up, he asked, "Which hole did my fart come out from?"

The Devil inspected the seat and said, "The third hole from the right."

"Wrong," said the idiot, "it's from my ass hole."

And the idiot went to Heaven.

Q: If Peter had a twin that was younger than him, what would his name be?
A: RePeter

Q: What succeeds most of the time?
A: A Toothless Bird! (sucks-seeds)

Q: How did the chewing gum cross the road?
A: It was stuck to the chickens foot.

Q. A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he still has the longest beard in town, how is that possible?
A. He's a Barber.

Q. How do you keep an idiot in suspense?
A. Oh, I'll tell you tomorrow!

Q. Why did the kids all eat their homework?
A. Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!

Q. What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
A. "Damn!"

Q. What goes in long and hard, and comes out wet and sticky?
A. A stick of gum. (And what were you thinking!?)

Q. how many drunks dose it takes to screw in a light bulb...?
A. 11. one to hold the light bulb and ten to drink enough to make the room spin.

Q: What's brown and sticky?
A: A stick.

Q: How many moves do you have to do to put an elephant in a fridge?
A: Three! Open the door, put the elephant in the fridge and close the door.

Q:How many moves do you have to do to put a giraffe in a fridge?
A: Four! Open the door, take the elephant out of the fridge, put the giraffe in the fridge and close the door.

Q:There's a huge fire in the jungle. Which animal will survive?
A: The giraffe, because it's in the fridge!

Q: There is a smart blonde, King Kong, and Godzilla all on the empire state building. Which one jumps first?
A: No one, because none of them exist.

Q: What you call dog with no legs?
A: Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.

Q: Did you hear about the circus fire?
A: It was intense.

Q: There is an all purple one story house. The walls are purple, the carpet is purple, the shutters are purple, everything is purple. What color are the stairs?
A: There are no stairs; it's a one story house!

0.o

ViKtory wrote:

Had me say oh my gosh 5 times! ROFL

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Are you like stealing all your jokes from unfriendable and artoftrolling?