Your best friend is taking a nap on the floor of your living room. Suddenly, you are faced with a bizarre existential problem: This friend is going to die unless you kick them (as hard as you can) in the rib cage. If you don’t kick them while they slumber, they will never wake up. However, you can never explain this to your friend; if you later inform them that you did this to save their life, they will also die from that. So you have to kick a sleeping friend in the ribs, and you can’t tell them why. Since you cannot tell your friend the truth, what excuse will you fabricate to explain this (seemingly inexplicable) attack?

your mum told me

i didst see you because you were laying on the floor like a bloody idiot so i stumbled over you!

Yeh, I'd kick him as hard as I could. I do it all the time anyway.

^lol i dont want to be your friend!!!

Kick him and hide