by Ahmed Fri May 15, 2009 7:43 pm
Capitalism is a philosophy of punctuation. Capitalists are people who believe that all words shouldbe capitalized, no matter what the situation.
For instance, the sentence:
"This is a sentence."
would be written this way by a capitalist:
"This Is MY sentence."
This is, of course, ridiculous.
Some extreme forms of capitalism demand the capitalization of every letter within a word (THIS IS A SENTENCE). Such extreme capitalists are common on AOL, and frequently post to Usenet pushing their capitalist agenda.
Capitalism used to be opposed by Communism, which believes that all letters should be brought together as equals. Therefore, a communist would write the above sentence like this:
"thisisasentence"
Unfortunately, this practice made Communist writing very hard to read, and eventually led to the movement's collapse in 1975.
However, with the advent of text messaging, a spin off of Communism, called Socialism sprang up. This doctrine stated that all letters should be socially equal, but not "together as one."
"whats up man"
The above sentence is a very frequently used statement in the Socialist community.
Other forms of Socialism even require that their words be degraded, sometimes even to letters, and that their letters be degraded to numbers.
"wut r u doin 4 lunch"
Socialism's main proponents include text messagers (they call themselves "txt msgrs") and instant messagers (they call themselves "imrs").