By Ahmed (Me)

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Candy was in love with the most beautiful girl in the kingdom, Chocolate. Her mouth was as lovely as a dog’s mouth. She had a dazzling body like an elephant’s. Chocolate’s beauty intoxicated Candy to the point that after many years he decided to go to her father and propose to her. Her father, Gum, agreed on one condition: Candy must go and buy him a carton of chocolate milk.

Candy set up on his trip to the super market. Candy was told by the cashier that there is no more milk in the USA because the cow’s got infected by the swine flu. Candy started looking sad, so the cashier quickly added that the cows are still good in Europe. Thrilled, Candy paid for a grand boat ride to Europe. A rainstorm caused the boat to flip during the middle of the trip. Candy grabbed a boat plank and swam to the nearest land that he could see.

The natives spoke an understandably foreign language. They used sign language to ask Candy why he came. Candy replied back that he came to buy milk. The native pointed towards a grand looking building. Candy walked to the building and entered it. It didn’t take long before he noticed that the building, which seems to be a supermarket, was full of insects and mice. Nonetheless, Candy bravely walked to the milk section and got a carton of chocolate milk. He tried finding the cashier but couldn’t find him. Instead he4 found a man who told him to get ready to go to war.

It turns out that the native actually meant to tell Canada that he should take all the food that he wants since he is going to go to war with the neighboring country of Haiti. With just pistol and a carton of gun, Candy is pushed to fight the Haitian army. Surprisingly, the Haitian soldiers capture him easily. They imprisoned Candy with his chocolate milk carton for a year. Finally, one great day there was a prison outbreak, and Candy took his carton of chocolate milk and escaped.

Candy runs to the ocean and finds a pirate ship. He asks the pirates if they could help bring him back to the USA. They accept his request for help only if he gives them his carton of chocolate milk. Reluctantly, Candy gives the pirates the great tasting, year-old chocolate milk and they sail to the USA. While watching the pirates sink other ships that met them on the way, Candy thought of how he will meet his loved one empty handed.

Candy looks down while he is walking to Chocolate’s house empty handed. He knocks on the door and Gum open’s the door and greets Candy. Candy starts explaining that he failed to get the carton of chocolate milk but Gum stops him. Gum tells Candy that he accepts that Candy could marry his daughter Chocolate. Just when they are about to celebrate, an old woman knocks on the door. Gum opens for her and invites her in. She explains that this marriage cannot take place because Candy and Chocolate are siblings. Gum realizes this and almost faints. He hadn’t seen his son Candy ever since he was a little child. He left Candy with his mother and married another woman and begot Chocolate from her. Candy and Chocolate faint from the joy.

Wtf... Wut... OMG LOLOL
xD

I had to write a comedy essay for my AP Literature class, so I wrote what you just read.

Hopefully Ill get a 100.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF


"and Gum open’s the door and greets "

FUDGE! Seriously...how did I miss this typo. FFFF

Faint from joy? wut.

It's sarcasm.

the hell ...

It's supposed to be sarcastic/funny...all of it.

It would be funnier if I wrote it.

I don't care.

If you have something then post it.

you called him canada at one point and said a carton of gun, which i couldn't work out either way.


the essays you write are so short... i just dont get it.

Well the paper had to be one page, single spaced.

Anyways, there goes my 100, will probably get a 95 for mechanical errors >.<

Also you made cows "cow's"

Yeah, you made a lot of mechanical errors bro.

That's what I get for wasting time and writing it at 12am...

Heck yeah!!

I got a 100! I so needed that grade. If I keep it this way then I went by 5 five points in the report card grade!!!

I'm happy that my English teacher was cool enough to forgive my mechanical errors for the content of the story.

Grats bro!

Thanks bro.!

You're welcome bro